On My Heart.

April 7, 2013 · 15 comments

Since moving to Ohio, almost nothing has gone according to my plan.

It’s been frustrating. It’s been humbling. It’s been worth celebrating.

This has been my constant prayer: Dear God, I’ve tried my best, but if today I lose my hope, please tell me that Your plans are bigger than my dreams.

One year ago, my dreams were to publish a cookbook. To work from home. To be a freelance writer…and to never be a teacher again.

But, God had other plans for me.

(I think this the best transition to ever exist…even though it hardly ever seems so right in the moment.)

And I can’t wait to see what comes next. Because right now is so, so good. Because I’m so, so blessed.

But the (hard) truth is this: I don’t know if it involves food or recipes or this place. I’ve been floundering here lately. I want to be here with my full heart…and I just haven’t been.

Writing this feels a little like a break-up…and I don’t want it to be that. I just want to tell you, I don’t know where this place is going. But I’m praying about it, and fighting hard to live a life where that’s always enough.

I hope you understand. I hope you’ll peek in from time to time. I don’t know what will be here, but I hope it will make you smile and bake and believe.

xoxo, Sarah

PS: Thank you all for your prayers and love. I think my awkward disappointment over feeling less inspired here lately overshadowed everything else. I’m confident and so happy that my purpose is in education, and love the job I’m working outside of this place!

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

KarenC April 7, 2013 at 8:34 pm

Sarah,
Hang in there my dear. You way will be made known. I know you have faith. Blessings & love. Tell your mom I say hi!

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Ally's Sweet & Savory Eats April 7, 2013 at 9:08 pm

Please hang in there! I think we all have these moments and we just have to do our best to have God lead our path. You will find what “it” is that you are to do. Until then, be patient and stay strong:)

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Cassie | Bake Your Day April 7, 2013 at 9:09 pm

Will always be here. Praying for direction for you, Sarah, you have such a great heart!

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Elizabeth @Food Ramblings April 7, 2013 at 10:14 pm

Sarah- Hang in there! Sending positive thoughts your way :)

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Taylor April 7, 2013 at 10:16 pm

Hope you know I’m thinking of you and know you will have a faithful group of readers when/if you happen to find the inspiration again!

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Simply Life April 7, 2013 at 10:24 pm

thanks for the honesty- hope things are going well and we get to hear updates about your path!

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Cinnamon @ eatpraytri April 8, 2013 at 1:14 am

I so know (and don’t know to the same degree) what you are going through. Waiting is hard. Very hard. All I can say (and I know you know this) is just pray. Curl up in your Abba’s arms and rest. He will provide. And oh it will be beautiful. ;-) You are in my heart and mind and prayers.

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Monet April 8, 2013 at 1:40 pm

Your honesty and your heart are beautiful. I am sending you good and positive thoughts. And I’ll keep you in my prayers. We would love to see the path you journey down…whatever that might be!

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Regina @ SpecialtyCakeCreations April 8, 2013 at 3:33 pm

Thinking of you as you figure things out and wait on the one that knows best!

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Erin @ Dinners, Dishes, and Desserts April 8, 2013 at 4:45 pm

Life can just be hard sometimes! Hopefully you will figure it out soon!

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Peggy April 10, 2013 at 5:08 pm

Hang in there, change can be scary but it also can be good.
We love living in NE Ohio and would not trade it or the people there for any other place on the planet. I hope you come to love it and cherish it as much as I do.
I have been a silent follower of your blog for sometime and will continue to do so, where ever you choose to take it.
Thanks
Peggy

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Lisa April 18, 2013 at 1:07 pm

I’m really sorry that you are feeling this way, I love your recipes and find myself always checking back to see if you have posted a new one! I hope you will reconsider after a little break!

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Miss Meghan April 23, 2013 at 3:17 pm

Prayers are with you. You’ll find what you need eventually. I’ve always loved reading what you have to say, but if your heart is in another place, go with it. Take care. And kiss your pup.

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The Mom Chef ~ Taking on Magazines One Recipe at a Time May 18, 2013 at 11:03 am

My husband and I live by the saying, ‘If you ever want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans.’ Things rarely turn out the way WE plan, but the fact that we notice it not happening is good because it means we’re staying true to following God’s path for our lives instead, being willing to turn left when He wants us to instead of right.

As a parent to a school child, may I just tell you how high in esteem I hold teachers? You are molding the most precious thing we parents have. Your example is what they follow. Your life stories are what are repeated to us at home.

Do life, serve God, teach. Big hugs.

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SimplyLife June 21, 2013 at 7:25 am

Just wanted to pop-in a say hello :) I haven’t seen you post in a while and was thinking about you and your blog! Hope everything is going well :)

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