Peanut Butter and Candy Corn M&M Bars

Let’s make a few things clear.

Ouiji board during indoor recess straight up scared the heck out of me. Even though I knew it was the popular kids who had their spirit stuff together moving the possessed piece. For the most part.

I was the girl attempting hibernation in her sleeping bag during scary movies at sleepovers. Unsuccessfully.

And I had to “baby-sit” anytime a haunted hayride/house/anything was the weekend activity of choice.

Halloween is…exactly the worst holiday ever in my skittish mind.

I don’t want to dress slutty. Or sew a pumpkin costume. Which is the only alternative to a lady of the night ensemble. I don’t want to give away candy to high schoolers who knock too loud and don’t even say trick-or-treat. For that matter, I don’t know about contributing the obesity epidemic overall. I want to be the Halloween grinch.

I’m entirely alright with this. I think we all need one grinchy thing. And I’d commit one hundred and ten percent to Halloween being mine. If it wasn’t for candy corn.

I think I could eat it until my teeth fell out. Which would take exactly 3.6 bags. It’s science.

My mom told me to eat candy corn with peanut butter. I listened because, well, she’s a wise woman. There was experimentation. Dough. Peanut butter. Candy corn M&M. Chocolate chip. Spoon. (It looked like that.)

And then it looked like one giant pan of cookie bar happiness. Sugared treats without tricks or costumes. I can do Halloween this way. Totes for real.

PS: In addition to eating this non-stop tomorrow night I have fantastic plans of dressing Hunter in a polo with a popped color. Treat number two. I love this dog.

Peanut Butter and Candy Corn M&M Bars
recipe adapted from Nancy

1 1/2 cups shortening
1 1/8 cups granulated sugar
1 1/8 cups brown sugar
3/4 cup creamy peanut butter
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
3/4 tsp water
3 eggs
3 3/8 cups flour
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups candy corn M&M’s
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Cream shortening and sugars until well blended. Add peanut butter, vanilla, water and eggs and mix until combined. In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking soda and salt. Add dry ingredients to wet gradually, stirring well after each addition. Fold in candy corn M&M’s and chocolate chips. Press dough into a greased 9×13″ pan. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for 35-40 minutes.